God; universal energy; the supreme consciousness in which we are all encapsulated, through which we move, of which we are made and the substance of our manifest existence: This ‘God’, whatever you may refer to ‘him’ as, does not define your worth by the life that you live. This is not a God that decides your worthiness through the decisions you make, nor the words you speak, nor the actions you take. This is not a God that holds a rule book to you, measuring your successes and failures and the thoughts and motives behind them, sizing you up for an A+ or an F based on your ability to obey. This is not a God that bears down upon you when you have sinned; this is not a God that sees sin or salvation. This is not a God that cares whether or not you believe, nor how you do so.
This God, which so many seek through so many paths, exists throughout and within all that is. An invisible seam that begins in your breath and weaves through the fabric of all existence. The ‘good’ and the ‘bad’. These are not terms defined by God; these are terms defined by us. There are no conceptions of life seen as ill-fated by God. There is no punishment nor reward. All such notions are created by and lived by us alone.
We bear such pain and such love in the name of God, forgetting that the very manifestation of such a being is the result of our experience of an essential Self; a moment spent within the infinite undefinable inner being that resides within; the Atman. Experiences of the Divine – the overwhelming senses and moments we bear witness to that alter our known perceptions of existence – whisper to us the truths of the illusion in which we live. Whether they be illusions of matter or mind, body or sense, the experiences I refer to as those of the Divine show us that we do not exist as a singularity enslaved to it’s environment. Rather, in the connection of these moments we surrender to the realization that we are one with all that is around us; consciously interacting with an expression of our own selves that – where we allow it – we feel intimately. When the wind blows upon your face, do you not feel the sensation of its breath alongside the force of its gust; do you not know what it is to be kissed by the wind as much as you do to be the wind itself?
Dwarfed by the magnitude of such interventions, it is only natural that one seeks to cast themselves as inferior: as a humble by-stander momentarily swept up within the magnificence of a passing constellation. It requires such love for oneself to instead perceive that we are the shooting stars that paint the heavens with their magnificence. That we, of our very essence, are the pinnacle of manifest creation; a beauteous force of ever-expanding evolution materialized in tactile experience.
Perhaps our folly then, is in the moments in which we forge separation as a means to validate ourselves; actions or thoughts in which we decide that our worth, our ‘goodness’, is dependent upon something other than our existence. We strive in fear and hurt, in egoic intellect or in the imagined grandeur of saintliness, hoping that our actions upon our paths result in a future gold star upon the paper of our lives. A star that says “Yes, you are right. You are a good human. The best in fact. And you will be rewarded for you have proved your worth”. Could it be that this is the star we seek to heal us from the years of self-judgment we have inflicted upon ourselves? We accumulate a subconscious list of ‘to-do’s’ hoping that when the list is finished, we have achieved our duties as a human and therefore qualify to the realms of the heavens. After such a long journey of hardship, what does one do when they realize no such star exists?
For you are the field and the observer of the field. You are human, and the ‘God’ which perceives itself as such. You write your story, not with the force of will, but with the power of observation. For what is a story if not a tale written and read by your mind? What is life, if not a unique experience of yourself, within yourself? What is ‘God’, if not an energy you harness in guiding your own existence?
Where we find ourselves lost, as I do upon this evening, it brings ease to ailing hearts to remember that we are not alone. For as I experience existence, the sensations and feelings that meet me come from the canvas I share with you. Where my thoughts fill with clutter or my heart with ache, I remember to see through them to the essential breath we share. Where my eyes glow with wonder, and my skin tingles in sensation, I know you know such feelings too. Because we share this; we share this experience, whether in the singularity of this moment or upon the eternity of time. We meet each other, again and again, in the silent being within. And here, regardless of our journeys along the polarities of existence, here we share in God. In each other. In the One that we all are.