If God had one chance to live, what life would he live? Would ‘he’ live a life of austere reverence unto ‘Himself’? Would ‘he’ seek out saintly and sagely ways to experience what we experience of ‘Him’? Would ‘he’ stoop to slovenly dwellings and be heavy with his earthly limbs and human secretions? Would ‘he’ consume until his tongue knew no more tastes and his belly no more swelling? Fornicate in every way written bye kamadeva’s sutra until his throbbing satiated? I wonder what it is that God would seek of man if he were given a chance to meet him thus: a chance to climb into a body that is genetically predisposed to seek evolution to higher mind, and interact with an infinite sum of material possibility.
If you were God, how would you know yourself?
Sometimes when I look at myself, I feel the sense of observing a two way mirror. On one side I see a reflection of my physicality, yet somewhere in my psyche I observe myself observing; the tangible nature of my existence is constantly accompanied with a consciousness of being conscious. In this there is duality and union. It is only possible if I exist on both sides of the mirror; it is only possible because I exist on both sides of the mirror. We are witness to ourselves constantly, not only in our presence but in this symbiotic observation of our presence. Is God the observer or is it us, observing the observer, who is God? Perhaps God, in ‘his’ infinite wisdom, has given us the greatest amnesia possible: an amnesia of psychic divide so as to allow us a state of constant exploration.
I am in awe that God has conjured a manifestation as such. That we have given birth to ourselves in such complex fruition that we have this impossible spectrum upon which to meditate. In moments of pure existentialism, following the lines of colour across a canvas, unsure of the image that will take shape, we dance upon this polarity. The observer and the observed holding hands as we act and perceive in the holy communion of intuitive faith – faith that as we move, an equilibrium of these two aspects of our psyche will find balance and meaningful creation.
I muse that it is in these ephemeral moments we are truly at one with God. A conscious act of unconsciousness. A playful gesture between two beings, who exist in awe of the other.